| Memories |
[Sep. 28th, 2006|10:04 pm] |
It was back in 2034 when I first realized about my talents. I was traveling through Indonesia, and at that time I was resting in Bali for a few days. It is indeed, like people say, a very enlightened place. It is also a very touristic place, so I snuck off the main roads and started backpacking through the mainland on my own.
I only had to walk for a few hours, and I started to wonder if I was still on the same island. There's no trace of all the beauty studios, wellness farms and holiday resorts in the hinterland, quite a pleasant fact if you ask me. Of course, I had visited the sea temple Tanah Lot and some of the many other ancient temples spread across the island, but after a few days of being immersed in crowds of tourists, I felt submerged, and I needed some fresh air.
My hike had been going great for 3 days already, I had stocked up on supplies in a small village and the weather was just perfect - hardly any rain, warm but not too hot, sunshine most of the time. Balinese nature was offering plenty of sweet and tasty fruits, and there were many clean streams where I could refill my water bottle. I had no reason to worry about anything, and in short, I was really enjoying my trip. But that was about to change.
On my 3rd day into the trip, I started to get really sore eyes. At first I thought it was just the dust and the heat, as it hadn't rained at all that day, so I didn't worry. Not much later, my legs began to feel really heavy, and unnaturally hot. Maybe I had walked too much today? But with the stubbornness of a Yak I trodded on, not granting myself a rest until I had finished the route I had set to accomplish that day.
It was a mistake. Only about half an hour later, a sudden pain in my left knee made me gasp for breath and fall down. I was panting heavily, and as I tried to get back on my feet, I realized that my legs weren't obeying my commands anymore... It was as if cold fingers had gripped them and just squeezed the life out of them.
"What the hell..." I muttered to myself. I was half sitting, half lying on a rocky path in the middle of nowhere. For at least an hour I must have cried for help, but no one came. The sun hit the horizon, and then the fever kicked in.
I cannot tell how much of what followed was dream, hallucination or reality... I just know that it scared the shit out of me. I noticed that there was a faint yellow glow behind a nearby hill. I tried to focus my eyes on it, but they kept slipping away... It was a weird and fascinating sight, even more because I just couldn't grasp it. And then I heard it. It was a sound that I would never forget, like a billion flies with razor-sharp wings swarming a rotten corpse... and it came closer.
I could feel the yellow light getting even stronger, and then I realized what had looked so off about it before. It wasn't like the yellow of sunflowers, or that of a fresh lemon, no, not that yellow. It looked like a cheap imitation of color, without any spark of life - as if the thing that created it had never seen any real yellow to draw reference from it. It just could not have been from this world, I was sure.
The light grew stronger, and so did the noise. I closed my eyes so I would no longer have to see it, I tried to hold my ears shut, but it made no difference. This terror didn't need my eyes, nor my ears... it went right through my stomach and into my soul, into my brain and all it wanted was to eat me up from the inside.
I could feel it slowly surrounding me, encompassing every inch of me, inside and outside. Never before, and never again, have I felt as lost as then. I started to cry. I could not fight this terror. I had given up all hope. All I wanted was to die, so I would no longer have to endure... but it wouldn't let me. I could feel it inside me, the being that tried to eat me alive... I heard its mad laugh echo between my ears. It was clearly enjoying itself.
But then I felt something else. Fur! As smooth as silk it touched me, dragging along one side of my face, then again on the other, in an ancient, complex rhythm that I did not have the capacity to understand. And then I heard the purring. Unnaturally soft vibrations engulfed me, and the being that had possessed me, it retreated! The sound of its billion wings got stirred up as it tried to resist - I hadn't thought it could get even worse - but Cat would not edge down.
"This one is mine." She hissed at the terror. "Piss off."
There was no arguing - Her word was law. No matter how much it wanted, the terror could not confront Her. I felt it withdrawing from me, and that what was left of me shook like mad. I felt empty, burnt out from the inside, and I did not know how much of what once was me was left. I only wanted to roll over and sleep, or maybe die straight away.
"No, you're not getting away that easily" Cat purred at me, "Stroke me now, I'm tired" She demanded, and cuddled up in my lap, purring calmly. All by themselves, my hands started to stroke Her neck and comfort her, and soon I sank into an uneasy but relieving sleep.
When I woke up again, it was still dark. My head felt like it got hit by a truck... but I was alive. I still couldn't move my legs though.
"What the hell happened to me" I thought.
"A young adventurer like yourself should know better than to eat fruits off plants he doesn't know" came Her voice from behind me, "especially in a land as alive as this one"
"What do you mean... I haven't seen a soul for at least two days."
"You have to open your eyes" She shook her head.
"Who are you?" I asked Her, as the last bits of sleep fell off me.
She tossed Her tail around as She walked around me, and when She had positioned Herself so that I could see Her, She said "Listen closely, because I am only telling you this once."
I was curious.
"I am life and death.
I am love, and I am scorn.
I am a keeper of secrets.
I am a wanderer of worlds.
I am a seer, and I am unseen.
I am above and beyond all."
She paused. "And I am going to be your guide."
"I don't need a guide" I said.
"And yet you have lost your way, silly boy" She shook Her head again, a spiteful gesture that I was to become very familiar with. Well... and She was right. I would starve out here unless I found some way to get back on my feet.
I nodded, "Ok, what do you suggest?"
"I told you that already." She looked at me, scrutinizing me. Disappointed, She sighed "You have to open your eyes."
I blinked.
"You'll have to do that yourself, I can't do it for you."
"...I don't understand." I said, and I really didn't.
"I can show you doors, but you will have to go through them yourself. Here, let me show you..." She came closer, and started to lick over my eyes with Her rough tongue.
"There", She said, "open them now."
I did.
"Look around. What do you see?"
"I see the place where I fell down yesterday."
"What else do you see, silly boy?"
"Grass... bushes, my backpack, a few trees... what's the point of this?"
"You're hopeless. Look at this bush, and open your eyes."
I looked real hard. I was a bush. I was staring at it. A few twigs, small green leaves, nothing spectacular... and then I saw it.
"Ah... you're finally getting it."
There was a single red fruit hanging from the bush, but it was not the fruit itself that had my attention. There was a wonderous glow of multiple colors surrounding it, not visible to the eyes, but still there... I looked up, and suddenly I noticed these colors everywhere. It was weird, I wasn't really seeing them with my eyes, but still they were there, right in front of me. The world I had known seemed to have stepped back and been replaced by a similar, yet totally different world. Hesitating, I looked at Cat - and I was blown away.
There are no words to describe the beauty that I saw. I was viewing a being of pure energy, divine elegance and blessed with endless wisdom.
"You are above and beyond all" I said. I was speechless. Awe struck me as She walked towards me, every move of Her body a manifestation of divine grace. She filled me with a power that I had never felt before.
"Now stand up and walk" She commanded, "we have a long way in front of us." |
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